Couple counseling
Marriage counseling
Most marriages in our society are based on love. That is a beautiful thing. However, there are many misconceptions about love. To many people, due to the romantic movement and Hollywood, love is just an emotion: You fall in love and the rest is history. After the honeymoon is over and routine sets in, when daily life requires lots of our energy or when the first children arrive, couples often get hit out of left field. Where is the romance, where is the love? Here is the truth: Love is not an emotion. Falling in love is. Love is a decission and it requires work. Erich Fromm wrote a book about this: The Art of Loving. We can help you rekindle that love, and even rediscover the wonderful feeling of being in love with each other.
Premarriage Counseling
You fell in love and you are happy and want to get married. However, you might be worried to lose the wonderful relationship you have. Will your relationship end up in fighting and divorce if you get married? What does living together and caring for each other involve? What arrangements about money, living, and security will fit you best, and how can you start off without jeopardizing your future together? Let us help you find your way forward together. Let us guide you in discussing goals, hopes and dreams, but also fears and anxiety about living together and help you make the best choices for your future together.
Facing life changes together
You have had many good - and a couple less good - times together. The children might be out of the house, the morgage is paid for, there might be grandchildren in the picture. However, health, work and play have changed to. Routine is dull and boring. Retirement is frightening, or your spouse has developed habbits you actually don't like anymore. Let us help the two of you to discover new routines and adventures in a new phase of your life together.
F.A.Q.
You can find some answers to frequently asked questions here. If your question is not answered in this section, please feel free to contact us.
We understand that you don’t want your “dirty laundry” on the street. Counselors and pastors follow very specific codes of ethics when it comes to confidentiality. We offer a secure place to talk without prejudice and with proper guidance to make it helpful and safe for both of you. Confidentiality is very important to us.
Sometimes it is helpful to have a couple counsel a couple. Having a male and a female counselor can help to be open to all perspectives. However, it is your choice whether you want just one of us or both counseling you. It is also a scheduling issue and two counselors cost more (not double!) than one.
We don’t belive one size fits all. Couple counseling is supposed to help you find answers together and solutions for your relationship that fit you. Sometimes all it takes is one or two sessions, and you move on without further counseling, some couples like to have “refresh sessions”, and move after a while from weekly to bi-weekly or monthly sessions or even more time inbetween sessions. You are in control of how many times you would like to meet. You can decide at any point that you would like to move on by yourself.
Most private health insurance policies cover at least a portion of psychotherapy with licensed counselors. However, this does not necessarily apply to couple counseling unless there is a psychological issue that effects both partners. Nonetheless, if you consider how much you spend in other areas or how much pain could be avoided, the cost is not that high. If finanzes are an issue, talk to us about a sliding fee scale.
Usually couples start out together in counselling sessions. It can be helpful to see each partner individually as well, but that would be determined together in our sessions, not behind the others back. It really depends on your needs and preferances. The goal is to help you as a couple to find your way into the future.
This question cannot be answered like this. We have seen many marriages that were on the break heal and move forward together, however, sometimes couples, or one of the spouses, cannot reconcile or find new common ground. Your marriage can survive if both of you are willing to go in that direction and are willing to put in the effort and work. We will try to help you on your journey.
The sessions are there to help you find ways without getting into a fight or flight mood. We will agree at the beginning of the couple therapy on a set of rules, which will include this issue. However, emotions are an intergrate part of relationships. We will try to help you identify emotions and guide them into helpful tools. Having said that, we will also expect you to control yourself in the session as abusive behavior or language and violence cannot be accepted ort tolerated in sessions.